Let me Sleep
by ilvbrwns
Summary: She smiles at him once more, sensing his confusion and it warms his heart, a feeling he just can’t explain and won’t even try to. I’m dreaming, he thinks to himself and dreams aren’t suppose to make sense." Sora/Naminé and other pairings in background


AN: I decided to try and write and Kingdom heart fanfic because I've been thinking about for a long time and I couldn't get the story out of my head. I though about while rediscovering an old S Club 7 song (now you're all thinking baad start) and the title "Let me sleep" comes from the song. Thing is, to make it good it should be about 10 chapters long and I'm always to lazy to go that far, but I will try especially if you guys like it.

**IMPORTANT**: This takes place after KH2, BUT with some slight changes. Roxas did "come out" of Sora but never decided to reunite with him again after that, because he hated being stuck inside somebody else. Sora never saw Namine again after Chain of Memories (otherwise this isn't believable AT ALL). That's all you need to know for now to follow the story. The rest should be explained through the chapters.

Also, this is a Sora/Namine centered fic, but there will be other pairings on the side as well, including some very very implied Axel/Roxas. I noticed there's never really any mixed gay and straight couples in a fanfic so I hesitated but I do think they'd be good together. If this makes you feel uncomfortable though, I think you can still easily read this and pass it off as strong friendship because there won't be anything concrete.

Sorry for the long note. Enjoy the first chapter.

Oh yeah, and I don't own anything.

Chapter 1:

The first time he heard her, he was standing on one of these colorful glass platforms like before. But just as he was about to mutter the setting was getting old really, he heard her voice.

-_ Sora…_

It was soft. Toned down. He was probably imagining it right?

Still he ceased all movements, concentrating, searching.

- _Who….is someone there?_

Nothing. Only silence.

He made a few steps. Five to be exact. He remembered vividly. And then:

- _Sora…_

So he froze.

- _Where are you?_ he tried, _Hello_?

Nothing.

- _Who…who is this_?

Did he know this voice?

And then Sora woke up.

Xxxxxxx

- You look awful.

Sora glared at his so called best friend and his nonexistence sense of delicacy.

Riku was smirking, arms crossed, back against the clear blue sight of the ocean one usually got from Destiny Island's shore.

_Why did we even call it that? We used to want to get away from here, when we were younger. And yet we keep ending back here… How strange_.

Sora missed the times when he didn't ask himself any questions. Now he questioned everything. Nothing seemed right. Or at least…something always felt wrong. And there were the dreams. It had been what a month? Or two? He knew that voice. Hell, he could almost read this voice. And he was cursing. This was so frustrating, and he wasn't he even sure what this was.

As these confused thoughts were overwhelming poor Sora's mind, he was completely unaware of a hand waving desperately in front of his eyes.

- And we lost him AGAIN, Riku sighed, rolling his eyes exasperatly.

- Cut him some slack, scolded the pretty redhead who as always accompanied the pair, you know Sora's not the morning type. He's probably still half asleep.

Riku gazed abandoned the distracted looking Sora.

- Kairi! Not only is it noon, but Sora is ALWAYS off in lala land lately! It's like his constantly high or something. PLUS HE'S LATE!

Sora blinked at them.

- What? Roller skate?

Kairi let out a giggle while Riku just cringed. What wee they going to do about that guy? Seriously!

- Did I say something wrong, asked Sora sheepishly, putting on his infamous not so innocent grins.

The redheaded girl smiled and put her arms around his neck affectionately.

- No you didn't silly. Riku's just in one of his moods…

The other boy gaped at her indignantly. Why was she always on Sora side?

- BUT…

- Riku…warned Kairi in a light tone but nevertheless giving him a serious "not now" look which Sora could not possibly see.

Riku bit his tongue but decided she was right and now was not the time to confront Sora. It was the first day of summer, and the three of them plus other friends with which they used to come with here, had plan to celebrate spending the day reminiscing (and partying too) on their favorite sanctuary, the island. How far seemed the days where they dreamed of escaping, of something more? Days where Kairi and Selphi went fishing while he and Sora raced and Wakka and Tidus battled each other with wooden swords. So much had happen since then.

It had been almost 6 month since he, Sora and Kairi and returned from the "World that never was". Everything had returned to normal, sort of, going back to school, doing dishes, following some angry and worried parent rules.

But it wasn't the same. They weren't the same. They had grown up. Seen and lived seeing they shouldn't have endured so young. The three of them were bound by things, which could not be explained nor entangled. And Riku, for the first time in his life, had been glad he could depend on others. He needed Sora and Kairi to go through this, to readapt and to live with what he had done.

Kairi despite possessing royal blood, despite having been kidnapped and embarked as a pawn in a crazy plan to bring pure evil to the world (well, WORLDS), still surprisingly remained a cheerful, down to earth person. Sure she was stronger, wiser, perhaps braver and more determined then before but she was still Kairi.

And he was still Riku. Just rid of all his old demons and fears.

Sora had changed the most. He missed Donald and Goofy for starters. He had only been able to see them again once, when they had mange to visit Mickey. He always felt responsible for others, putting everyone before himself, his natural kindness enhanced by an overpowering sense of duty he had acquired. But he had seemed fine. Still the ever happy, light and optimistic goofball Riku had grown to not only respect, but trust and care for.

Only recently Sora had been acting weird. He always looked distracted, thoughtful or off somewhere in his world. His attention span was dangerously dropping, he seemed tired from dusk till dawn…in other words he just wasn't himself anymore. Riku hated to admit this, but he was worried and he didn't do worried! So this had to stop and Sora was going to have to get down from his cloud and spill what was bothering him. SOON.

* * *

- Roxas?

No reaction.

She knew he probably hadn't heard her, he never chose to ignore her purposely. But she was afraid to speak any louder, afraid to startle him, afraid he'd fall. It saddened her how much time he'd spend sitting there on top of that clock tower, alone. And to be completely honest she wouldn't be surprise to see him jump down one day. It's like he wouldn't let himself be happy, even now he finally had the possibility to be. Unlike her.

- Roxas? She tried again.

He turned slowly to her and smiled. A kind smile, which wouldn't reach his eyes.

- It's you.

- I brought you some food, I…I thought you might be hungry? Sandwich and sea salt ice cream, she said, trying to be cheerful.

- What would I do without you? he said softly.

Why did he always have to look so distant and defeated? So untouched? She had to do something!

- Roxas snap out of it! Me and the others, we've done everything we could to cheer you up! Hayner is even considering letting you win a match of struggle, and you know how he feels about that so…so you have to start living now! YOU have a heart, you can feel, you can…

He got up and walked to her, started into her eyes, his gaze remaining emotionless.

- I can what? Understand pain better then before? Great! Amazing really! And to what price?

She backed up, half worried half satisfied from his unusually strong reaction.

- You don't know what it was like, to be truly a nobody. To be inside you're…you're somebody and to see, hear, sense everything without being able to do or say ANYTHING. Without being able to respond to the world like you'd wish!

She felt her throat tightening at the growing intensity of his tone, the sudden deep loss and sadness of his gaze.

- I couldn't do anything, could barely think, I didn't...I didn't even feel my own emotions… how can you…there is no difference heart or no heart! I can't explain it…I thought…

His voice was getting stuck in his throat and she didn't know what to do to calm him but she was glad he was finally letting things out. Maybe it would do him good? Right now he was hurting pretty bad though. She could tell.

- I…, he sunk to the ground burying his face in his arms, I had to just stand there and watch..

Tears were running along his cheeks.

- I had to watch him _die_…

She kneeled next to him, taking him in her arms the best she could.

- I know Roxas. I know.

* * *

The first time he saw her she was so far away, running across the trees far from him. It didn't make any sense but he was running after her. All for nothing, he never got to see her face that night. But he kept trying. He would keep trying.

_- Wait!_

Today she was running upwards some spiraled staircase, her long white dress flowing behind her.

- _Please! Wait!_

It all seemed so familiar. So real. Her hair was so blond.

- _Please…._

He could almost touch it. Such blond hair. But it was getting away. So far away.

- _COME BACK!_

Sora awoke with a start, gasping for air like he had just ran a marathon. He remained lying there, staring at the open sky for a long minute before remembering where he was. Still on the island, sleeping outside under the stars, surrounded by his friends.

He sat up, feeling his forehead realizing he was sweating and not understanding why he was so out of breath. _It was just a dream_. So why did it feel like he had really ran for hours? At least he hadn't woken up any of the others, his mom had actually barged in his room once. Apparently she'd heard him yell something out and had remained worried for three days. Yeah she wasn't at all reassured by her son's explanation of what had happened to him during his absence. Somehow "I don't remember" hadn't been a too convincing excuse and now she was even more a mother hen then before. He didn't want his friends, especially Riku and Kairi who already seemed worried for him, to know about his weird dreams. Not that he thought much of them, there was after all no mention of him being needed to save the world or open a door or something so that was always good right? But he remembered how he had tried to dismiss his dreams before yet they had turned out to be unavoidable.

Still, he did not want to overanalyze anything. One: Analyzing wasn't his thing, two: …yeah not his thing.

He turned to Kairi, who was sleeping peacefully next to him. He smiled fondly looking at her lying there. She had become one of the most important things in his life. She was more then a best friend to him for sure. He had believed at a time that he had romantic feelings for her. He did have a crush on her before their adventure into the other worlds…but now it seemed changed. Not that he didn't feel strongly for her, that he did, only he wasn't sure he saw her in that way. He was protective of her, cared for her very deeply…and found her good looking. But he had seen what love was. It had seem so strong, so powerful yet so foreign. Jack and Sally, Aladdin and Jasmine, Beast and Belle… there had seemed to be something else there. Something he couldn't explain but that he just didn't feel was happening between him and Kairi…

And he was pretty sure Riku on the other hand… Well let just say he had caught him staring more then once. Hopefully Kairi felt the same? Girls were so complicated…

And there was the dreams… _W__hat was that all about? Was it a coincidence?_ He was so tired…

On that thought, Sora fell back asleep again, dreams for one of the last times deprived of any blond in a white dress.

Xxxxxx

_1 month later_

He was standing in a strange room, all white cold and empty. Hey, thinking about it, he'd sort of prefer the glass platforms right now… at least it's more personalized then this. Where was he anyway? And where did that table suddenly come from? He walked over to the new prop carefully.

- _Drawings?_ He thought picking them from the cold surface.

They were pretty good. There he was holding his keyblade, with Donald and Goofy, the three of them walking happily. Did he make these? He picked up another one of himself on which he appeared asleep in what looked like a big flower made of glass. Just when he thought things couldn't get any weirder.

- _Sora?_

He turned around and she was here, her clear blue eyes staring gazing at him.

- _Ka..Kairi?_

She frowned slightly. No, he thought, not Kairi. Her hair was light and golden, her skin much paler. And those too delicate features…she looked much too fragile to be Kairi.

- _Why won't you leave me alone Sora?_

Leave her alone? Kind of unfair knowing she was the one that was always appearing out of nowhere! Not that he minded being stalked by a pretty blond too much…

_- I…did you make these? He asked pointing at the drawings._

_- I think you should leave Sora, she said sadly._

_Why was she sad? That wasn't goo_d! Sora wanted to make it better.

- _Do I know you? _The words were out before he knew it.

She did seem familiar…But from where?

- _Leave Sora._

It looked like it was her that was leaving. She was getting further and further away.

- _Wa..Wait! I'm sure we've met somewhere! WAIT!_

- SORA!

The brunet jumped up, looking around the movie theater room he was seated in, Kairi and Riku staring curiously at him.

- The movie ended ten good minutes…explained Kairi good-naturedly.

- Yeah and you wouldn't budge, went on Riku eyebrows furrowed.

Uh oh, he'd fallen asleep again. Quick new excuse, new excuse…

- Huuum…sorry guys! It's just…you know…with the stress of the exams and all…

Come on Sora make it believable.

- I don't really sleep well…enough…that much…because…of the exams? He concluded lamely

Riku and Kairi shared a look.

- Sora we're on vacation! Riku stated obviously trying to remain calm, but not doing a really good job at it.

- Yeah and you slept until three today…added Kairi looking a bit concerned.

- Oh…yeah! Right! Uhhh….

- Are you doing drugs? Riku asked bluntly.

Sora's already big blue eyes became wide as saucers.

- What? He exclaimed, NO! Of course not!

Kair gave a nod.

- He's telling the truth, she whispered loudly to Riku, this guy couldn't lie to save his life.

What? He could lie!

- So true! Added the light-haired boy shaking his head in defeat.

Sora sunk deeper in his big chair.

- You know I'm hearing all of that, don't you? he complained

His two friends nodded approvingly.

- HEY!

The three friends turned to notice an employee that had just walked into the room.

- What are you kids still doing here, the theater is closed! You wouldn't want to spend the night here would you? he scolded

- I'm sure Sora wouldn't mind…muttered Riku rolling his eyes

- Let's get out of here guys! Kairi said grabbing their brown haired friend by the arm before he could argue.

* * *

- You know, I could make you forget.

No answer.

- Do you…do you want me to do that? Do you want to forget Roxas? She asked again in concern.

- I thought you said this power was a curse and never did good to anyone. That you didn't want to use it ever again? He asked looking away.

Did this mean yes? She so should not have asked…

- I…yes. But I'd do it for you. If you wanted me to…

Roxas smiled sadly at her.

- No. I already made the mistake of forgetting once. I won't do it again, look where it got me the last time.

She must have seen surprised (well she was), because he went on:

- I don't want to be a coward anymore Namine! I won't run or hide from my pain, not now that I understand it. Beside, he added smiling fondly at her, I wouldn't want to make you do anything you don't want to do. You're the only family I've got.

She was touched by these words. She knew they were true but had never heard them from him before. Hayner, Pence and Olette, they were great friends, they had help them a lot when the two of them had arrived in twilight with nowhere to live. But Roxas, he was like a brother to her! They had stuck together all this time and she felt more human around him, surely not only because he had found his heart when he was inside Sora?

She put her hand on his shoulder.

- You know you don't have to forget. But you don't have to live in the past either. Sitting alone on top of that tower will not bring him back.

He turned away from her. She got up to leave and heard him whisper in defeat:

- Then what will?

* * *

On their way home Sora somehow manages to convince his friends that him falling asleep constantly is nothing to worry about, explaining how he's growing up and everything, possibly lacking some vitamins plus other stuff along these lines. He doesn't feel like talking to them about the girl. Maybe because she looked a bit like Kairi, that was weird. Also because he doesn't really want to talk about his dreams, giving them more importance than they held. For some reason he feels a little bit embarrassed about how intrigued he is about some dream figure. But she seemed so familiar though, he was sure he had seen her before…Maybe in some movie?

_I'm sure it will come back to me eventually_, he decides while getting into bed.

The next thing he knows he is standing in a vast field of deep green, under a bright blue sky. He could picture himself running across it with Donald and Goofy for some reason.

- _Hello Sora._

She is standing next to him her arms behind back, smiling kindly this time.

- Y_ou're…here_. He states lamely

She giggles pleasantly in response, which makes him smile unconsciously in response.

- _A friend told me today that it is pointless trying to run away from your past, that it leads you nowher_e, she tells him

Sora blinked at her confused.

- _What? I'm not running away._

Running from what anyway? The blonde titled her head to the side.

- _I know that silly. I wasn't talking about you._

Oh ok.

…

Still not following.

She smiles at him once more, sensing his confusion and it warms his heart, a feeling he just can't explain and won't even try to. I'm dreaming he thinks to himself and dreams aren't suppose to make sense.

- _I'm not running anymore Sora_, the girl explains as if it's the most evident thing in the world.

She's so small, he thinks and he feels guilty.

- _I mean if you're here,_ she stares into his eyes serenely, i_t must for a reason right?_

* * *

End of the first chapter. Let me know what you think


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